First and foremost, I'd like to say that what I did was incredibly stupid. I'm lucky things turned out the way they did, no matter how much mental strength I believe myself to have.
Now, on to the actual details of the experience. This was my first time taking a high dose of mushrooms. My first time was an extremely small amount(less than 1 gram), and it produced almost no effects. This time, however, I took over 7 grams of dried liberty caps, with a temporary MAOI, ALONE, having to work in 12 hours. Stupid.
The trip started off neutrally, but a growing sense of nausea slowly crept up. Before long, I had no choice but to throw up(though I held them down for about an hour). This was one of the worst experiences of my life. I was in absolute misery, accompanied by confusion and fear. I honestly thought I was going to die. So many worries kept piling up that it seemed like a living nightmare that would end in my own demise.
Over the course of an hour, I was able to take control of the trip and turn it around. I told myself that work didn't matter. If I was sick, I could call in sick, and I NEVER call in sick, so it'd be fine. My well-being is more important than work. Once I convinced myself of that, it was one worry out of the way. The worry of death? Well, mushrooms are extremely extremely extremely hard to OD on, and I just hammered that fact into my head. In this case, however, knowledge can make things worse, and I knew that MAOIs can interact with foods and such, and I also knew that/how overheating can kill you(and I was EXTEMELY hot, it seemed). I prepared a cool bath for myself to cool myself down, occasionally leaving the bath to throw up. I also kept my cell phone within reach of myself at all times as an extra assurance if I needed help(hospital assistance, etc) Once I had sufficiently cooled my body and relaxed myself in the bath, the fear of the MAOI slowly faded away, leaving only the problem with nausea. Eventually, I'd emptied my stomach and was content enough to leave the bathroom and go to my bedroom, knowing I wouldn't throw up any more. I placed a bucket next to my bed so I wouldn't worry about covering anything in puke.
(note: The way I described the beginning of the trip, above, does not, in any way, convey the misery and fear that I felt. Everything I did, I did with extreme difficulty, trying to keep myself calm enough TO do those things. It was NOT a walk in the park, by any means.)
At this point, the trip started to take a turn for the better... I was lying down, and ideas began bursting into my head. I, being an intellectual by nature, loved this! Things that would normally have required concious effort to analyze, my mind seemed to race through automatically. This drove me to a feeling of bliss.
I called a friend up and told him what was going on. He'd all ready done mushrooms before, so he was aware of the 'bliss' that I was experiencing.
After that, I got on the computer and started talking to people. I was amazed at how much better I could understand people! It was like I understood every little emotion that people felt, why they said everything they said, etc. My ex-girlfriend was online, and, for the first time ever, I actually undertood why things between us had happened as they did... after 8 months! All this without even talking to her...
I kept talking to people and kept mervelling over the understanding I'd seemed to have gained. An emotional side of me not bound by the rules of conventional logic. Logic, in fact, seemed dull, stupid, and boring... too obvious to be of any interest! Everything OTHER than logic seemed to be simply beautiful... like art. My body, some bug I found, everything. Everything seemed beautiful, because I seemed to be able to see how it all fit into the grand scheme of things(or rather that it was all part of one system).
I retreated from my computer and decided to call up this girl that I often neglect. She has a learning disorder and isn't that intelligent, but talking to her while I was under the influence of the mushrooms gave me a completely different perspective. It didn't seem as though she were stupid, as it did before... simply that she didn't have the capacity or caring for the type of conventional logic that I found so boring in that state. It seemed as though she were permenantly tuned into the emotional state that I was in. Though that might not be true, it gave me a much better appreciation of her as a person.
Over time, the effects faded, and I became my old, logical self. The insights and realizations I've gained from that trip, though, don't seem like they're going away any time soon. I've found that it's insanely easy to be supportive of my ex girlfriend's new relationship, which seems to make her very happy(the support), whereas before I was absolutely opposed to it and hated the guy! The girl I'd neglected for so long... she doesn't seem nearly as hard to put up with. It also seems 5 times easier to get along with both of them.
I haven't noticed any difference in my performance or dealings with people at work, but I'd venture a guess that there might be a slight difference.
This trip turned out to be a huge success, despite all the stupidity in the way it was planned. Based on this trip, I would recommend magic mushrooms to anybody to try at least once in their life, but only under the right circumstances(set and setting). Magic mushrooms can show you what you can strive to gain, just make sure not to use them as a crutch. Take what you learn while under their influence and put it to use in your every day life. (ex: don't take mushrooms to bond with people, take mushrooms every once in a while to help learn how to bond, and do the bonding in your right mind)
-Nuvix
Now, on to the actual details of the experience. This was my first time taking a high dose of mushrooms. My first time was an extremely small amount(less than 1 gram), and it produced almost no effects. This time, however, I took over 7 grams of dried liberty caps, with a temporary MAOI, ALONE, having to work in 12 hours. Stupid.
The trip started off neutrally, but a growing sense of nausea slowly crept up. Before long, I had no choice but to throw up(though I held them down for about an hour). This was one of the worst experiences of my life. I was in absolute misery, accompanied by confusion and fear. I honestly thought I was going to die. So many worries kept piling up that it seemed like a living nightmare that would end in my own demise.
Over the course of an hour, I was able to take control of the trip and turn it around. I told myself that work didn't matter. If I was sick, I could call in sick, and I NEVER call in sick, so it'd be fine. My well-being is more important than work. Once I convinced myself of that, it was one worry out of the way. The worry of death? Well, mushrooms are extremely extremely extremely hard to OD on, and I just hammered that fact into my head. In this case, however, knowledge can make things worse, and I knew that MAOIs can interact with foods and such, and I also knew that/how overheating can kill you(and I was EXTEMELY hot, it seemed). I prepared a cool bath for myself to cool myself down, occasionally leaving the bath to throw up. I also kept my cell phone within reach of myself at all times as an extra assurance if I needed help(hospital assistance, etc) Once I had sufficiently cooled my body and relaxed myself in the bath, the fear of the MAOI slowly faded away, leaving only the problem with nausea. Eventually, I'd emptied my stomach and was content enough to leave the bathroom and go to my bedroom, knowing I wouldn't throw up any more. I placed a bucket next to my bed so I wouldn't worry about covering anything in puke.
(note: The way I described the beginning of the trip, above, does not, in any way, convey the misery and fear that I felt. Everything I did, I did with extreme difficulty, trying to keep myself calm enough TO do those things. It was NOT a walk in the park, by any means.)
At this point, the trip started to take a turn for the better... I was lying down, and ideas began bursting into my head. I, being an intellectual by nature, loved this! Things that would normally have required concious effort to analyze, my mind seemed to race through automatically. This drove me to a feeling of bliss.
I called a friend up and told him what was going on. He'd all ready done mushrooms before, so he was aware of the 'bliss' that I was experiencing.
After that, I got on the computer and started talking to people. I was amazed at how much better I could understand people! It was like I understood every little emotion that people felt, why they said everything they said, etc. My ex-girlfriend was online, and, for the first time ever, I actually undertood why things between us had happened as they did... after 8 months! All this without even talking to her...
I kept talking to people and kept mervelling over the understanding I'd seemed to have gained. An emotional side of me not bound by the rules of conventional logic. Logic, in fact, seemed dull, stupid, and boring... too obvious to be of any interest! Everything OTHER than logic seemed to be simply beautiful... like art. My body, some bug I found, everything. Everything seemed beautiful, because I seemed to be able to see how it all fit into the grand scheme of things(or rather that it was all part of one system).
I retreated from my computer and decided to call up this girl that I often neglect. She has a learning disorder and isn't that intelligent, but talking to her while I was under the influence of the mushrooms gave me a completely different perspective. It didn't seem as though she were stupid, as it did before... simply that she didn't have the capacity or caring for the type of conventional logic that I found so boring in that state. It seemed as though she were permenantly tuned into the emotional state that I was in. Though that might not be true, it gave me a much better appreciation of her as a person.
Over time, the effects faded, and I became my old, logical self. The insights and realizations I've gained from that trip, though, don't seem like they're going away any time soon. I've found that it's insanely easy to be supportive of my ex girlfriend's new relationship, which seems to make her very happy(the support), whereas before I was absolutely opposed to it and hated the guy! The girl I'd neglected for so long... she doesn't seem nearly as hard to put up with. It also seems 5 times easier to get along with both of them.
I haven't noticed any difference in my performance or dealings with people at work, but I'd venture a guess that there might be a slight difference.
This trip turned out to be a huge success, despite all the stupidity in the way it was planned. Based on this trip, I would recommend magic mushrooms to anybody to try at least once in their life, but only under the right circumstances(set and setting). Magic mushrooms can show you what you can strive to gain, just make sure not to use them as a crutch. Take what you learn while under their influence and put it to use in your every day life. (ex: don't take mushrooms to bond with people, take mushrooms every once in a while to help learn how to bond, and do the bonding in your right mind)
-Nuvix
